It’s A Choice

Everyday I get out of bed, have a shower, and start my day. Some days look different than others but they all consist of nausea, fatigue and extreme pain.

When I was first diagnosed with Erdheim-Chester disease (a rare form of cancer) five years ago, I made a promise to myself that I would always make everyday the best I could. Do one thing a day that makes life worth living and always be thankful for each and everyone of those days.

I understand how easy it would be to bury my head in a pillow and not get out of bed. Allowing fear, anxiety and depression to take over my every thought. That is not what I choose to do. Life is a journey for all of us, for some life can seem easy and for others excruciating. Whatever the case may be, there can be brightness, you just have to want to see it.

I chose not to be a professional victim anymore. I am 47 years old and am so thankful for my wonderful crazy life. There are babies who don”t make it into this world, children who have suffered unbearable pain and so many more that don’t get to see how wonderful this world can be.

At times it can be so dark, living in today’s society is hard in itself. The dangers we all face with the lack of respect and grace.

I lived so much of my life wanting everyone to like me and wanting to be accepted. What I have realized is that it’s impossible and unnecessary. The people who know me and love me for all that I am are all I need. In my world, I choose to focus my precious time and energy on the positive and good in my life, knowing I am someone who is not malicious or full of hate. I make mistakes like every other human being, and that’s ok. I learn and listen, and for that I am proud.